We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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