Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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(360): View more from Washington

Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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(714): View more from California

walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined

(714): View more from California

he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day

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(909): View more from California

She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself

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(516): View more from New York

Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs

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(217): View more from Illinois

I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!

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