she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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