Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
