The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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