Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize