.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
