hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
