whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
