So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
