I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dignity is for republicans.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
