why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
