wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
