I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
