Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I FOUND THE LEGS
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
