Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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