Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize