they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
