We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
