dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
