Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
