At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize