It's like God shit irony all over that family
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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