guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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