That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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