every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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