Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
