I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
