the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize