we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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