Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
