there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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