garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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