it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
