Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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