She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
