I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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