I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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