im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
