I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
