please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
