Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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