I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
