Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
