What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
