Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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