you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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