but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize