Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
