A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
