so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
