she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
