What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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