So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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