you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
