I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
