Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
