Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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