I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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