You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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