i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
