i may or may not be watching the land before time
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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