Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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